If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
