I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You are the jesus of drinking
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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