don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
