just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
