Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So drunk its hurt
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
