it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
