Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
