I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
