Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
