Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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