No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize