More tranny stories later!
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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