Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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