Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Randomize
