Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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