Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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