did you get engaged???
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
