spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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