Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
My ATM looks so different sober.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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