Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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