hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
the liver wants what the liver wants
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
