just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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