he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
i think i just lost a toe
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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