I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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