I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
