it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
