some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
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She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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