I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
