And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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