still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
