it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize