just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
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I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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