I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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