I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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