I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
