Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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