there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
