No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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