Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
