This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
