Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Randomize
