ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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