he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
