i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
