I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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