Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
