He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
