She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
