i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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