their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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