Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize