she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
