Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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