At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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