last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
