I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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