i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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