And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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