its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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