Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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