its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
