Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
home. puking in laundry basket.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
